


Do I?

by PhantomWarrior99



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:22:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25119079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhantomWarrior99/pseuds/PhantomWarrior99
Summary: Some reunions are truly bittersweet.
Relationships: Gabriel x reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	Do I?

He looks so peaceful.

There's a softness to his features, a steady rhythm to the rise and fall of his chest. It's slow, deliberate - a reassurance that he's alive - that he's _home_. Despite all its merit as something important, something uniquely human, it's nothing more than a formality for the archangel. He'd told you once before, a passing remark about angels not needing to breathe and the action - the rise and fall of their chests, something you've fixated upon on nights like these - is little more than a charade for the masses. Even on his side with an arm thrown haphazardly over your hip, the other nestled beneath his pillow, you're still not sure if _this_ isn't a formality like everything else. The evening's events play back in your mind and you can't quite quell the flush that creeps into your cheeks - nor the fear that settles in the pit of your stomach.

He's been back a week, his grand appearance startling all after he reveals he staged his death on the alternate Earth. He's hardly been able to keep his hands to himself and yet, drowning in all his affection, you still doubt his intentions. It's clear he's here for something, he's never been one to hang around the Bunker longer than he has to - especially not when the Winchesters are there. His extended stay raises one too many questions for your liking and you're terrified of the answer. 

Is he using you? Not just for _evening entertainment_ , but for insight, information - a source that unwittingly reveals more than she intends. But why? What could be so damned important that he subjects himself to Dean's idle jabs?

You tug the sheets a little tighter around your frame as you prop yourself up on your elbow. Gabriel doesn't move, lost in his dreams - another formality. Why does he act so damned _human_ all the time? Still, the wrinkle to his nose is cuter than it should be under the warm glow of yellow cast over his features. The small candle you'd lit dances across the darkened room, its warmth undetectable but even so, it seems to seep into your very soul.

You reach for him, fingertips ghosting over the stubble along his jaw and he shifts. Your hand lifts as he settles before it alights along his cheekbone. Your fingers trace along the shadows as if they'll reveal that which the archangel conceals. They drift along the soft curve of his cheek as you memorize every line, every inch of his features - you can't remember how many times you longed to see it all these years.

First, Lucifer and the hotel and now--

The thought falters when Gabriel's hand on your hip flexes, as if he's adjusting his grip before he curls closer and your heartrate spikes to a cacophony in your ears. You hold your breath and he stills. You hold your breath and you tuck a golden lock behind his ear. You hold your breath and the wrinkle fades and his jaw slackens in a soft snore.

And then you can breathe, cautiously. You can breathe as you lean in, the subtle flare of cinnamon and sugar assaults your senses. You can breathe and your heart aches all the more. 

_Why is he here?_

It replays like a mantra in the depths of your mind. A piece of your soul chalks it up to the rare possibility that he's staying because he cares: because he misses you. Another attributes it to something more sinister, forcing you to question whether or not this is actually this world's Gabriel. 

You can remember the day he "died". The showdown with Michael that seemed altogether suspicious. He'd turned just before he attacked the alternate Earth's Michael, his ordinarily golden eyes a brilliant sky blue. And he made sure you made eye contact. You could have sworn you heard a whisper of his voice in the back of your mind and the fight was over before it began.

You distinctly remember watching him crumple to the ground just before Sam shoved you through the portal. You recall Dean had been acting weird, well, giving credit to an _angel_ other than Cas qualified as weird and he'd done a lot of praising on Gabriel's demised behalf.

At the time, you'd thought nothing of it, but now? Now it all makes sense. Now you know why he'd looked at you. Now you know why Dean was so uncharacteristically eager to praise the archangel.

The smug bastard had hitched a ride home with Dean.

But did the look, the fleeting moment of eye contact serve as a means to an end? Or did you truly mean something to him, even then?

You're not sure you'll get that answer anytime soon, nor will you be able to put that nagging sense of foreboding to rest. So, at least for now, you'll enjoy what time you have your with your archangel.

For better or for worse.

\-------------------

**Author's Note:**

> Hey folks!  
> I finally finished another SPN fic. Surprise! I hope y'all enjoyed it!  
> Please leave a kudo/comment and let me know your thoughts!  
> ~ Phantom


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